Because we care for our children, parents, grandparents, and teachers, we strive to make the connection between home and school an ongoing conversation. By setting aside time for interacting and working together, we (parents and teachers) learn the language and share in our beliefs of the Montessori child.

Positive Discipline and its many components have been our topics of choice for parent education. We had our second parent education event this past Thursday, October 19th, highlighting Dysregulation in Children. We talked about how understanding how to support and address a child who is not able to control their emotional responses is important for their success in school. We also talked about how the brain works when children become dysregulated and how to help them develop the skills to self-regulate.

We learned about “Flipping Our Lid.” When we feel really mad, upset, or scared, our brain goes into autopilot mode, making it hard to control our feelings. The limbic system reacts when it thinks something is wrong or scary. This automatic reaction can happen even if the threat isn’t real. When the limbic system gets activated, it releases hormones in our brain. These hormones shake things up, so we can’t use the rational thinking part of the brain. The prefrontal cortex helps us make sense of things, manage our feelings, and solve problems. So, when we can’t use the prefrontal cortex, we can’t think or act calmly. It takes about 20 minutes for our brain to get back to normal, cool down, and let us think clearly again. 

Things we can do to help children develop the skills to self-regulate:

1. Connect
2. “Positive Time-Out” is a special spot where kids can go when upset. (We do not advocate using Time Out as a consequence.) We have a designated area in our classrooms for positive time out.
   • The Quiet Area
   • The Peace Table
   • The Peace Corner
   • The Peace Area
3. Naming Emotions
4. Deep Breathing
5. Mindfulness Practices
6. Reflective Listening
7. Let Routines be the Boss
8. Show Faith

Takeaways:

• Self-regulation is something all children go through. 
• Some children might need more time to learn it than others. 
• When the adults grasp the issue and assist the children during challenging moments, what could have caused a gap in the relationship becomes a chance for deeper connection and helps children feel like they truly belong and matter.

The Positive Discipline model helps us (parents and teachers) develop mutually respectful relationships with the children in our lives.

Karen Sankey and I attended a two-day training —The Practitioner’s Class: Positive Discipline in the Montessori Classroom, at Westside Montessori School and Teacher Education Program in Manhattan.

We have compiled a calendar of Parent Education events to share what we learned. More information to come!

Our next installment will be in November, on Thursday, the 16th.

The topic will be Positive Discipline- Kind and Firm Parenting: What is your Parenting Style?

This past summer, I had the opportunity to attend a presentation by Phyllis L. Fagell, LCPC. Phyllis Fagell is a school counselor in Washington, DC, a therapist who works with children and teens in private practice, and an author and journalist. 

Her most recent book, Middle School SuperPowers, Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times, is recommended for parents and educators of upper elementary-age children and up. 

Amazon’s review of Phyllis Fagell’s book:

“Middle School Superpowers is an indispensable, engaging, and reassuring resource for anyone raising or educating tweens in today’s complicated world.” 

The webinar was hosted by The Social Institute (TSI). TSI is dedicated to equipping educators with a valuable learning platform designed to help students effectively navigate their social environments, including the realm of social media and technology. Their mission is to promote students’ well-being and future success by reinforcing essential character traits such as empathy, integrity, and teamwork.

Phyllis Fagell introduces the concept of 12 Middle School Superpowers that empower young minds to manage disappointment, regulate their emotions, take healthy risks, and bounce back from setbacks. 

These superpowers are:

1. Flexibility
2. Belonging
3. Sight
4. Bounce
5. Agency
6. Forcefield
7. Security
8. Healing
9. Vulnerability
10. Daring
11. Optimism
12. Balance

Some takeaways from Fagell’s talk to help us build their superpowers:

• Social Media and Technology are prominent topics in students’ lives. Adults talk negatively about social media and technology, creating a disconnect with kids.
• Disappointment is something kids can get through. We must help them understand what it means to be optimistic and feel validated without toxic positivity.
• As educators, we must communicate respect for students’ needs and understand the developmental phase. Example: At that moment, when you overhear something mean or something that goes against the values of the classroom, the adults need to address it right away, not in a punitive way, but in a calm manner. The kids must know that we also are taking responsibility for preserving our community’s culture.
• We do not talk down to children, we do not talk at them, and we need to be mindful not to use friendly sarcasm because you don’t know how that will land.
• When a child comes to you on a Thursday and mentions that they have a track meet that weekend, or they’re excited because they’re visiting a grandparent, or maybe they have an exciting sleepover that they’re looking forward to, Fagell suggests that we write it down on a post-it note so that the following week or the next time you see them which might be several days later, you can circle back and ask them about those experiences. Those small gestures make a big difference. 

An interesting fact Fagell shared: 

Did you know that a significant 79% of students attribute their motivation to pursue their dreams to the guidance of their teachers? Educators play an indispensable role in shaping the path to student success. 

As we prepare for the upcoming school year, my fellow educators and I intentionally work to contribute to the well-being, happiness, and future achievements of all our students every day.  

Here is to the start of a wonderful school year!

As this is the last installment of the Parent Corner for this year, we would like to take this opportunity to express our gratitude for your continued support, participation, and collaboration in your child’s educational journey at FWM.

Summer is a time for relaxation and enjoyment; however, maintaining structure and engaging in educational activities can significantly benefit your child’s development. Therefore, it is essential to emphasize the significance of establishing a summer routine and encouraging summer learning.

A consistent summer routine provides stability and helps children maintain a healthy balance between leisure and productive activities. A schedule incorporating regular sleep patterns, meal times, physical activity, and designated learning periods can contribute to their overall well-being. In addition, it allows them to maintain a sense of discipline and prepares them for the routines they will resume when the new school year begins.

Summer learning plays a vital role in preventing the “summer slide,” a phenomenon where students may experience a decline in academic skills during the extended break. By encouraging your child to participate in educational activities, such as reading, puzzles, and educational games, or even enrolling them in summer enrichment programs, you can help them retain the knowledge they acquired throughout the school year. 

Take advantage of the warmer weather and the longer days to engage in outdoor activities that promote learning. For example, visiting museums, exploring nature, embarking on educational field trips, or organizing family discussions about current events can foster critical thinking, curiosity, and a broader understanding of the world.

Your involvement and support motivate your child to embrace summer learning. Please encourage your child’s efforts, celebrate their achievements, and actively engage in their summer learning. 

Summer also offers valuable opportunities for relaxation, family bonding, and exploring other interests. It is essential to balance structured learning activities and unstructured playtime. Allowing your child to engage in activities they enjoy and allowing them to explore their interests will foster creativity and a sense of independence.

Looking ahead in the coming weeks to help you plan:

• FWM teachers will send Summer Learning Resources appropriate for your child’s level (LE-MS).
• A Suggested Summer Reading List will be made available to all families.
  • Please encourage your children to read daily over the summer. Summer vacation allows us to relax, but it is also a critical time to ensure students keep learning.
• Later in the summer, you will receive new school year instructions and supplies lists for the upcoming school year.  

Thank you for your ongoing support, and we wish you and your family a wonderful and enriching summer.

Building a strong school community is essential for creating a positive and supportive learning environment. Students, teachers, staff, parents, and extended family, work together to create a safe and inclusive space for everyone to learn and grow to their utmost potential.

There are several ways in which a school community can be built: through communication, a sense of belonging, collaboration, support, creating a safe space for children to learn and grow, and finally, through celebration.

As a Montessori school, we recognize one of the most critical aspects of building a school community is involving parents and families in the education process. FWM encourages parents to play an active role in their child’s education, and by doing so, parents can reinforce the principles taught in the classroom.

Our FWM school community thrives because of the collaborative effort from all stakeholders. By establishing a clear vision and set of values, fostering a culture of collaboration and inclusivity, involving parents and families, nurturing positive relationships between students, and promoting self-discovery and self-expression, we have an environment where students thrive and ultimately grow to become engaged, motivated, and successful learners who are well-prepared, compassionate, confident, joyful citizens of the world.

We hope you join us as we celebrate the Fraser Woods community at our two upcoming events: Grandparents’ and Special Friends’ Day on Friday, April 28, and FWM’s HERE WE GROW Gala and Auction on Saturday, April 29.

The topic of April’s Family Connection Newsletter is The Montessori Method and Independence: An Aid to Life. As stated in the article, Maria Montessori believed that the overarching goal of education was to educate for independence. She said, “If [the child] cannot acquire this independence, he does not exist as an individual – for the characteristic of an individual is one who can function by himself.” The article contains helpful information for early childhood, elementary, and secondary levels.

In addition to this month’s newsletter, I am also including March’s Family Connection on Freedom and Discipline. This article discusses what that looks like in the Montessori classroom and includes information on freedom of movement, choice, time, repetition, communication, and mistake-making. It also provides information on self-discipline and an intriguing discussion with upper elementary students on the question: “What does freedom with responsibility mean to you?”

I hope you enjoy these newsletters,

Karen Sankey
Director of Montessori Education

My last blog post on Positive Discipline posed the question: 

What is Positive Discipline? 

Here is a more practical answer: 

Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful, and resourceful members of their communities. Positive Discipline teaches critical social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others). 

One of my favorite quotes from Jane Nelson is:

“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Children do better when they feel better.” Jane Nelsen

Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches. 

Our faculty spent time in professional development this past Friday. Our work focused on Positive Discipline in the Montessori classroom.

The big “take-aways” for us were:

Positive Discipline teaches adults to employ kindness and firmness at the same time, and is neither punitive nor permissive.

The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include:

• Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the situation’s needs and kindness by respecting the child’s needs.
• Asking vs. Telling – the power of motivational questions.
• Effective communication and problem-solving skills.
• Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).
• Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.
• Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.

Our first Parent Evening to come together and talk about Positive Discipline is on Thursday, March 30th from 7:00-8:00 pm. We look forward to seeing you!

“Through concentration, important qualities of character develop. When the concentration passes, the child is inwardly satisfied, he becomes aware of his companions in whom he shows a lively and sympathetic interest.” -Maria Montessori

“Concentration is the Key” in this month’s Family Connection Newsletter. Concentration holds great importance in the Montessori philosophy. Montessorians believe that personality develops based on the ability to concentrate and that children’s social/emotional nature is established through control of their minds and bodies. Concentration allows children to explore and investigate their environment. How is concentration fostered in the Montessori classroom?

• Didactic materials reinforce repetition, have clear steps, contain control of error, and are fascinating.
• Practical life activities develop coordination and independence, encourage attention to detail, and develop concentration.
• The classroom environment acts as a protector of the child’s concentration, allows deep engagement, allows long periods of uninterrupted work, and provides time for children to become completely engrossed in their work.
• The teacher acts as a protector of the child’s focus and concentration and shows great respect for the child and their work.

This issue also addresses Montessori at home through lunch preparation, clean-up, and independence. In addition, you will learn about the importance of Care of the Environment at different developmental stages and the skills that are fostered by caring for the environment.

I hope you find this month’s Family Connection helpful and informative.

Warmly,

Karen Sankey
Director of Montessori Education