Parents have asked this question at the end of their child’s day for generations.

The answer is almost universally, “nothing.”

Why is this question such a tough one?

Here are some thoughts:

Everything children are doing in Montessori uniquely corresponds with their development. You don’t notice when your shoes fit perfectly, you notice when they pinch or hurt or give you blisters. 

Even when we’re working on something new in the classroom — unless it’s something big and dramatic you’ve been waiting your whole life for, like your very first picture story, or the bead chains or the checkerboard, or the quadratic equation — it is something typically aligned with what you need, in the here and now.

“What did you do today?” is a very big question for children and adults alike. 

If my husband asked me, “What did you do today?”  my response would be  something along the lines of, “…. Um (long silence while I try to remember this day, which seems like it happened about a week ago) ……I worked with children, sent some emails, had some teacher meetings…

What children do during the day doesn’t seem nearly as thrilling to them as it does to us. When parents and visitors observe children in the classrooms, the most common phrase we hear is: “I could watch all day.” What the children do and what they learn is so incredibly exciting for us to hear about and to them, it’s one more step in their development.

A great way to encourage children to talk about their day is to create a daily habit of talking about yours- the whole family. If it is just relaxing dinner table or car ride home conversations, there’s more of a chance stories will emerge.

An example would be telling a “Did You Know Story”: 

Did you know, this morning, I thought I packed my lunch box but I didn’t!  At lunch time,  I couldn’t find it anywhere! I had to eat the extra snacks I keep in my desk for my lunch. 

If you can’t remember a fun anecdote to share with your child, it’s not a big leap to imagine they’re having a tough time remembering parts of their day, too.

It’s natural to want to know how your most favorite person spent their day. It’s also natural to think that the way you spend your own day is pretty uneventful. Both those thoughts are true, whether you’re the parent or the child. 

As we have seen so many times, modeling is one of the best ways to teach. Like any new practice or habit, seeing results from your work is sometimes just enough to create a bit of momentum.

Spend time over the winter break establishing this new habit with your family and enjoy talking with your child!

Wishing you a happy holiday.

Gina Tryforos
Assistant Head of School & Student Support Coordinator

Dear Fraser Woods Families,

There are many ways for families to establish an after school or evening routine, and those routines will look different depending upon the age of your child/children. 

After picking up at dismissal, there may be rush-hour traffic, hungry kids, and homework – either assigned by your child’s teacher or suggested/required by you, which make weeknights stressful for any parent or caregiver. Families with multiple children will notice this time is trickier to manage because each child has their own learning style. 

You can manage these chaotic periods with strategies that fit your family and make this time of day smoother. 

1. Snack

Studies show that nutrition affects children’s behavior and may reduce or increase attention and focus. Too much sugar and/or artificial coloring, may make it more difficult for children to focus.

Have a healthy snack ready for your child. You can pack a small cooler filled with nutritious food and water every afternoon, so that the kids have something to eat while you are driving home or to after-school activities. You can also have a snack ready when your child walks in the door (whole-grain crackers with natural sun or nut butter and an apple; a slice of cold turkey or ham and an orange; or a banana, etc.)

2. Establish Your Own Routine- in other words, do what works for your family

Creating routines that work with your child/children is important in managing evening chaos. Some families may find that their child’s emotions are heightened after a long school day. 

So experiment with your child’s schedule. Try doing homework at different times, or breaking it into small chunks. Another strategy is having someone (parent, older sibling, babysitter)  sit with them, reading a book or working on another quiet activity; it provides reassurance.

Make the routine clear by creating a chart or poster with your child of the things that need to be accomplished that day: feed the dog, go to soccer practice, finish homework, read for 20 minutes, etc. 

3. Be Realistic

Some children can take a shower, brush their teeth, and get into pajamas in a half-hour, but others can’t.

Your expectations about what your child can do independently and which tasks need your support will help you with feeling frustrated.

Lauren Braswell, Ph.D., a clinical child psychologist, agrees that realistic expectations help the evening go smoother. “I see families struggle with what they can change and what they have to accept,” she says. If it takes your child longer to get through the evening chores or nightly homework, that’s just the way it is”.

4. Physical Activity

For some children, it’s hard to tackle homework or chores immediately after school. One way to help your child focus is through exercise. 

“Evidence shows that 20 or 30 minutes of exercise-taking a walk, playing in the backyard, doing some jumping jacks-can help a child focus for about 45 minutes to an hour afterward,” says John Ratey, M.D., an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. 

5. Sleep

A good night’s sleep is so important, yet many children have difficulty with sleep routines for a variety of different reasons (restless, overtired, night time fears, etc.).  

“Routines that may start with a warm bath, tooth-brushing, and some light stretching or calming breathing techniques, followed by reading a story, can help your child prepare their body and their mind for a good night’s rest.”

6. Be Mindful of Your Words

When your priorities collide with your child’s, parents can feel overwhelmed. We want to avoid an edgy tone of voice or using harsh words. 

Instead of saying, “You seem distracted,” try “Let’s work on finding a way to focus,” or “I know homework isn’t fun, but we need to get it done. So let’s get focused.”

Instead of saying, “You’re making a mess,” or “You’re getting a little sloppy,” try “Could you use a hand?” or “How can I help you clean this up?”

Instead of saying, “There are no monsters in your closet, just go to bed,” try “Lots of kids have scary dreams. How do you want to get rid of the monsters?” or “How about I stay in the room for a while until you fall asleep?”

When pressure is getting the best of you, focus on your ultimate parenting goal. Says Dr. Lauren Braswell, Ph.D., a clinical child psychologist, “Teach your child to be self-sufficient and preserve a loving parent/child relationship at all costs.”

Gina Tryforos

Assistant Head of School & Student Support Coordinator

This month’s Family Connection is about Cosmic Education. Maria Montessori created Cosmic Education to “give the child a vision of the whole universe…for all things are part of the universe and are connected with each other to form one whole unity.” As you will read in the article, Cosmic Education is “an all-inclusive curriculum that helps children recognize and appreciate the interconnectedness of all things. It provides a framework for them to understand the universe and their place within it, empowering them to better the world for future generations.”

This work manifests itself differently at different levels.

In our Toddler classrooms, children are working with items from nature: sea wool sponges, pumpkins, acorns, leaves, and pinecones.

In the Primary classrooms, children learn about the world through their continent studies. This month they are learning about North America.

At the Elementary level, students learn about the connectedness of living things through the “Great Lessons”. In Lower Elementary, students learned the first Great Lesson of the Coming of the Universe. In Upper Elementary, students are participating in an ongoing study of Human Evolution.

Children in Upper Elementary and Middle School learn to be socially responsible people and become passionate about global issues by taking care of others. Upper Elementary students do this through their volunteer work each month, making sandwiches and collecting supplies for people experiencing housing insecurity. They have also started a composting program at school, leading the way for environmentally responsible behavior. Our Middle School students participate in multiple volunteer experiences throughout the year: collecting donations for local animal shelters, running a Thanksgiving food drive, and collecting food and gifts for two local families’ holiday celebrations.

Thank you for being part of our community! I hope you enjoy this month’s Family Connection.

Karen Sankey
Director of Montessori Education

Hello Fraser Woods Families,

The start of the year can bring anxious feelings along with it. That goes for everyone – educators, students, and families. This is especially true this school year as we all try to create a new sense of normal. 

According to Dr. Susan Albers, of the Cleveland Clinic, the Sunday Scaries are triggered by the end of the weekend approaching and us anticipating our return to work (or school). She says when people start to make their to-do lists or contemplate upcoming responsibilities, the transition from relaxation to work mode can be a tough 180.  

Together we can build on strategies and best practices that counselors regularly apply to their work with children and families, to help make the transition back to school feel better. 

1. Acknowledge where everyone is. At FWM we address the needs of the whole child and meet them where they are academically, socially, emotionally, and developmentally. 
2. Listen, and encourage others to listen as well. Over the past three school years, our familiar connections grew apart. Taking time to listen thoughtfully can help rebuild those connections.
3. Be thoughtful about communication, routines, and procedures. A major reason for back-to-school anxiety is uncertainty. When communication, expectations, and routines are clear, and effective procedures are in place, everyone feels more comfortable and at ease.
4. Establish a more relaxed pace. There is a lot of new information to cover in the first days and weeks of school- for students and their parents. Giving students the time and space to process information and practice applying new routines and procedures will provide the foundation for productive academic learning. 
5. Take time to laugh, move, and connect. All of our classrooms allow for unstructured breaks, classroom conversations, and other opportunities that help to meet students’ social and emotional needs. Given the opportunity to take a brief brain-break from academic learning where students can move around, talk with one another, and just enjoy being together, will help all students–from our youngest to our oldest, feel more at ease. 

Creating an atmosphere of peace and harmony in every classroom is at the core of what we do. 

Gina Tryforos

Assistant Head of School & Student Support Coordinator

Dear Fraser Woods Families,

Welcome to the Family Connection, the American Montessori Society’s monthly newsletter. Each issue includes articles about Montessori education, Montessori tips for the home, and a peek inside the classroom.

This month’s publication focuses on how young children absorb and assimilate information through Montessori math lessons. It also focuses on the way Montessori elementary classrooms foster scientific thinking and support the development of higher thinking skills.

Curriculum night is coming up on September 15th. We look forward to seeing you there, where you can learn more about how your child experiences learning in their classroom at FWM. 

Enjoy! 

Best regards,

Karen Sankey

Director of Montessori Education