Please enjoy this article published by the Washington Post:

Top 10 Skills Middle School Students Need to Thrive, and How Parents Can Help

By Phyllis L. Fagell

February 29, 2016

In elementary school, I was too shy to address my teachers by name. I would hover nearby, hoping they would realize I had a question. I also was the new girl, and the existing cliques seemed impenetrable. To make matters worse, I was a late reader and had difficulty articulating half the alphabet. Family members would euphemistically say I was just “slow out of the gate.” I had my work cut out for me.

By middle school, I was ready to throw myself into the mix. It wasn’t always pretty. I got tossed out of classes for giggling uncontrollably. I navigated earning my first “D” and getting demoted in math. I had a knack for choosing overly dramatic and bossy friends, and I accidentally dyed my hair brassy orange. I agreed to go to a school dance with a boy, only to panic when I realized this involved actually going to a dance with a boy. I got busted for passing notes in class and for finishing overdue homework in the girls’ bathroom.

On the plus side, I figured out how to connect with teachers, and I learned I could solve math problems when I made an effort. I discovered that books kindled my imagination and provided a mental escape. Sports played a useful role too, allowing me to burn off excess energy and improve my focus. I shifted social groups more than a few times. Overall, it was the typical junior high experience, one I relive frequently as a middle school counselor and as the parent of kids in seventh and eighth grade. Long before social emotional learning became a buzzword in education circles, I was stumbling along, acquiring self-awareness and problem-solving skills.

There is no manual to develop “soft” skills like perseverance and resilience. Just as I did, most kids learn through trial and error. As parents, our quest to protect our children can be at odds with their personal growth. It can feel counter-intuitive, but we mainly need to take a step back. I have come to believe that certain social emotional skills are particularly useful as kids navigate middle school and beyond. Here are my top 10 skills, and ways parents can help without getting in the way.

Top 10 Social Emotional Skills For Middle School Students

1. Make good friend choices. This typically comes on the heels of making some questionable choices. Kids figure out quickly which friends instill a sense of belonging and which ones make them feel uncomfortable. It can be helpful to ask your children these questions: Do you have fun and laugh with this person? Can you be yourself? Is there trust and empathy? Common interests are a bonus.

2. Work in teams and negotiate conflict. I don’t think many students get through middle school without feeling like they had to carry the load on at least one group project. Maybe they didn’t delegate and divide the work effectively at the onset. Perhaps they chose to take ownership to avoid a poor grade. Help them understand what happened and consider what they might have done differently.

3. Manage a student-teacher mismatch. Unless there is abuse or discrimination, don’t bail them out by asking for a teacher change. Tell them they still can learn from a teacher they don’t like. Let them know it’s a chance to practice working with someone they find difficult. Remind them that if they can manage the situation, they won’t feel powerless or helpless the next time. Focus on concrete barriers to success in the class, not the interpersonal conflict. Is it miscommunication? Study skills?

4. Create organization and homework systems. Make sure they are the architects of this process. Encourage them to come up with solution-oriented plans and tweak them as needed. Do they need to use their planner? Create a checklist? Their motivation will come from ownership. If they say they don’t care, remind them that they don’t have to be invested in a particular outcome in order to change their behavior. People who hate exercise can still choose to lift weights.

5. Monitor and take responsibility for grades. If you care more than they do about their grades, why should they worry? Let them monitor their own grades, and if they don’t do well, don’t step in to advocate for assignment extensions or grade changes. Let them carry the burden and experience the connection between preparation, organization and grades.  Conversely, if they are perfectionists, they will learn they can survive and manage the disappointment of a low grade.

6. Learn to self-advocate. By middle school, they should be learning how to ask teachers for help or clarification. This may be in person or through email. When students bond with teachers, they connect more intimately with the material too. Unless there is no other option, try not to reach out on their behalf.

7. Self-regulate emotions. Children often need assistance labeling strong emotions before they can regulate them. Help your kids identify any physical symptoms that accompany their stressors. This may help them know when to take a breath or hit the “pause” button before reacting. In real time, point out when they handle an emotional situation well. Discuss the strategy they implemented—maybe they took a break or listened to music. Also, help them make connections between their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Are they stuck in all-or-nothing thinking? Are they consistently self-critical?

8. Cultivate passions and recognize limitations. When your children are fired up about something, run with it and encourage exploration. Seize the opportunity to help them go deep. Get books, go to museums and be supportive even if the subject does not excite you. In the process, you will help them figure out what drives them. On the other hand, it is okay if they struggle in a specific area. That too is useful information. No one needs to be good at everything.

9. Make responsible, safe and ethical choices. Teach them to respect their bodies, and to make safe and healthy decisions. It is equally important to talk about how to avoid putting others at risk. Have open conversations and discuss plans for different scenarios they may encounter. Try not to be overly reactive if they ask shocking or distressing questions. Keep the lines of communication open.

10. Create and innovate. Our changing world needs imaginative creators and divergent thinkers. It also can build confidence to think independently and outside the box. As your kids do their homework, read required texts and take standardized tests, remind them that these benchmarks are not the only ways to measure success. Encourage them to make connections across material from different classes, and to build, write, invent and experiment.

Phyllis L. Fagell is a licensed clinical professional counselor and school counselor in Bethesda. She tweets @pfagell.

A shortened week has not put a damper on our momentum in middle school!

Humanities 6 & 7 classes are currently reading novels and continuing their studies of ancient Egypt and the Masai culture. They are also revising their corrected drafts of their research papers and giving a first run-through of their presentations in preparation for next week’s Research Morning. 8th years presented compelling current event topics that caused us to deviate a bit from plans to divulge in these topics. Conversations about perspective, biased information, and media influence were all critical for the events from the Catholic high school student who had an interaction with an Indigenous American to the importance of mental health for all.

In math, The 6^th years will begin their geometry unit after taking a cumulative assessment on units 1 through 6. In this unit they will define terms and be able to determine angle measurement using their knowledge of equations. They will also be introduced to congruent and similar figures. The 7^th years began their unit on percent. In this unit they will be finding the percent of a number and solve percent word problems. Included also will be finding the percent of change, markups, tips, discounts, and sales tax.  They will also be calculating interest and account balances. The 8^th years continue working on their graphing and solving systems of equation using graphing, substitution and elimination.  Next week we will begin graphing linear inequalities and systems of inequalities.

In Science, the 6th year Earth Science students are creating a stop motion video representing aspects of plate tectonics. Students can choose from a variety of mediums for creating their videos. Students have chosen to create them on continental drifting, convection currents, Pangaea, and the layers of Earth’s interior. 7th year students are continuing their unit on atoms and bonding. Students recently finished writing their lab report titled, Shedding Light on Ions, which required students to determine what kinds of compounds produce ions in a solution. 8th year students tested their wind turbines as part of their natural resources unit. Each group built their own turbine out of plastic cups, foam core, wooden dowel, and string.  Each turbine’s purpose was to wind a string with determined weight around the dowel when wind (hairdryer) was applied. Following construction of the wind turbine, students are working on designing and creating a hydroelectric turbine.

****Middle School Teachers’ Plea: PLEASE send your child (children) to school with appropriate clothing (no shorts), winter coats, and appropriate accessories. Believe us, we know it’s difficult for you, but it’s a requirement in frigid January and February temperatures. Thank you :-)****

According to the Oxford Dictionary, “critical thinking” is defined as, “The objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgement.” Last Thursday evening, we were lucky to listen to Dr. Steven Pearlman, one of the founders of The Critical Thinking Initiative and director of Interdisciplinary Writing and Reasoning at the University of St. Joseph in West Hartford. He spoke at length about the importance of critical thinking skills in a growing and changing world, thus making the case for the Montessori educational philosophy.

Listening to Dr. Pearlman was both validating and concerning for me as an educator. It was exciting to hear that a lot of what goes on in our middle school enables students to flex their critical thinking muscles: annotating text to lead discussion; choosing a world issue, deciding its impact on society, and presenting it to peers for further discussion; a collaborative project that creates a community where all flaws have been ironed out; and, embarking on an internship that is a glimpse of the real-world workforce and reflecting on this experience. These are only a few of the ways we enable critical thinking. The goal is a student-centered classroom where everything from learning environment to pursuing interests, and reflections on the way material is absorbed are present.

My concerns came with Dr. Pearlman’s data about the way critical thinking is not being activated and nurtured in educational institutions in this country. The most shocking data came with monitoring of a student’s brainwaves over a school week in a public school. The areas with least brain activity (almost none) were class time, screen time, and homework. Class time?! What does this mean as our middle school students go on to high schools? How can we ensure that they can activate the part of their brains for critical thinking as well as sustain topic interests?

Thankfully, I think students of a Montessori education will be more prepared and successful as they have already built the foundation for being active learners and approaching material in a critical way. They know how to initiate further inquiry on a topic of interest as well as delve into it. Montessori students have been guided to ask questions to further learning as well as to make connections and parallels between topics. Instead of waiting for more material to be given to them, they will go and find the material.

I am excited for our students’ futures. They will be the innovative leaders of this country and world. Based on what I see, we will be in good hands.

As we wrap up our last full week of 2018, I always reflect upon my year. The other day, a student gifted me with her art project (led by the incredible Ms. Reid). It brought full-circle another reason that I choose to teach at a small, independent school: authentic assessment. While we have tests and quizzes, it is the observations and presentation of material in unconventional ways by the students that prove they are truly learning.

The painting (see photo gallery), inspired by Native American artist and member of the Navajo Nation, Shonto Begay, demonstrates the state of Indigenous Americans in our country. Begay paints beautiful landscapes with the realities of life on today’s reservations. The student’s painting does just that- in front of the serene, mountainous landscape, is a girl without facial features, symbolizing the lack of attention plaguing today’s population. Additionally, she has western clothing, showing assimilation and loss of culture due to colonization. Finally, the woman is hiding a bottle behind her back, which demonstrates the challenge of addiction that can be seen in reservations. We spent a good chunk of our fall in 8th year Humanities studying the history of the U.S. through the lens of Indigenous Americans.

This is what teaching is all about. Whether it is science, math, physical education, or the arts, when a child shows mastery of an entire unit through something other than a test, it is a complete victory. Applied knowledge across the curriculum and moments like this one are what “fill the gas tank” for a teacher.

A Week in Review:

In math, The 6^th years are progressing nicely.  This week we began our investigation of proportions.  After covering rations, the class learned about unit rates and how to determine the “better buy.”  They then moved on to proportions.  Next up students will be exploring similar figures. The 7^th years continue their work with fractions that include variables.  They learned how to reduce, find the greatest common factor, finding the least common multiple, adding, subtracting and multiplying using their previously acquired prime factorization skills. Finally, the 8^th years have been introduced to slope, direct variation, and rate of change.  Also introduced was slope-intercept form of a linear equation (y=mx+b).  They will be using this information to draw graphs and write equations when they know two points on a line.

In science, the 6th and 8th years continued working on identifying igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rocks. Students discovered the process of how metamorphic rocks are created using heat and pressure with clay and beads while demonstrating the layers of sedimentary rock using soil samples and water. The 7th years finished their unit on the periodic table of elements and are planning for the construction of the periodic table of cupcakes.

In humanities, the 6th years were assessed in geography of the Middle East and North Africa and pondered the question, “Can modern humans know the history of a group of people who did not have writing, or can we only really know about people who kept written records of their activities and achievements?” 7th years are studying sub-Saharan Africa, and continued to explore the continent by studying South African history, particularly apartheid, and western influence in traditional cultures, beginning with Mali. Finally, the 8th years looked at the Great Compromise decided upon by the Continental Congress and resulting 3/5 Compromise that were decided upon at the Constitutional Convention of 1787. Both affected people of color in our country.

The middle school teachers hope you have a lovely winter break with your families!

Happy Friday! Another full week of middle school has come and gone. Trimester 1 has come to a close, and we will embrace new goals and lessons as we finish 2018. This week, we were lucky to have Officer Felicia from the Newtown Police Department visit with K-9, Aris, a sprightly, 2-year old German Shepherd. Demonstrations in apprehension and nosework were given as well as information on the process of acquiring and training a K-9 police dog. It is clear that the bond between Officer Felicia and her partner, Aris, is unbreakable.

This week in Humanities, 6th years began their unit on the Middle East and North Africa. They looked at the geography of the regions and began studying Mesopotamia. 7th years began their unit on Sub-Saharan Africa, also looking at the geography of the region including human geography and natural resources. 8th years began their unit on Black America, studying the origins of slavery in the colonies and the forming of classes with early legislation supporting both.